The spaciousness before beginning again
Leaning into both the grief and the possibility of unexpected endings
No time right now for a read? Scroll down for upcoming gatherings ❤️
“Creativity is the residue of time wasted.”
― Albert Einstein
Last week, I reflected on the tough decision to let go of a hard-labored project (to which I was quite attached).
This was followed by a week of roaming through the disappointment, bargaining, and escapism which I would name mild grief…and now: jubilation.
The project came with a high opportunity cost. I devoted hours every week to its creation for five months, and would have continued through September. The decision itself ate up two full days and many yellow pad sheets.
While it was heartbreaking, the closure of the decision liberated that time and space for…whatever I wish.
As a compulsive dreamer, I have a long wish list. I imagine you do, as well.
It seems we are continually grieving all that our spirit calls for…while we switch the laundry over, jot off 20 near-meaningless email responses, and wash the car so that it can get dirty again.
Past experience indicates that this sense of wide open possibility will be brief, so I aim to savor it. Above all my other wishes, I wish to let this enlivening spaciousness linger for a spell before harvesting it for a truly worthy endeavor. And, even then, I wish to reserve a fair amount for indefinite breathing room.
We crave the creative nourishment of time wasted, as Einstein put it. Without pockets in our lives for puttering - in our minds, our yards, our homes - it seems that need translates into the fast food equivalent of mindless scrolling when what we really ache for is a hearty, home cooked meal.
In a parallel vein, I’ve been sore about the premature end of the semblance of winter Utah received. I adore the snow, the contrast, the feeling of taking flight down the mountain.
In cahoots with the summertime temperatures, the spring equinox this weekend feels like closure on the torture of fruitless hope. I’m putting the skis away, and dusting off the camp gear. Dreaming of high alpine lakes and red rock mesas.
All of this to remember: the in-between is sometimes the hardest part, after which we can hold out our arms to the loss…and the verdant possibilities of spring after winter, and the many possible beginnings after endings.
Upcoming Gatherings:
“We’re not on our journey to save the world but to save ourselves. But in doing that you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes.” – Joseph Campbell
In this spring equinox dialogue with Joseph Campbell’s long-time friend and editor, Robert Walter, we will explore myth as a soul-sustaining archetypal narrative and the interwoven nature of personal myth in our role and impact in the world.
TONIGHT! Mar 20th 6:00-7:30 pm Utah Museum of Contemporary Art, SLC
Joseph Campbell famously remarked: “What you do, you do with play.”
In Robert’s signature “playshop,” we will move through an interpersonal exploration of mythmaking, all while embraced in the beauty of nature at the threshold of spring.
TOMORROW! Mar 21st 10:00-5:00 pm Red Butte Garden & Arboretum, SLC
THREE SPOTS REMAINING
Women’s Sangha: Full Pink Moon Sound Bath
Join us for a loving kindness sound bath meditation with Natalie Forbush, alongside poetry and space to connect as a community.
Wed, Apr 1 6:30-8:00 pm South Jordan, UT
Gratitude for Contributing Readers
Thank you to those supporting this labor of love! All revenue is donated to Madrona, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit community at the confluence of art, soul and nature.
I will be sharing small treasures with you - personal stories, poems, rituals, and other delights to say thank you.