From beauty into wonder
A reflection on 2025, plus what's coming in 2026
Welcome to a new year and the new weekly dispatch.
For my newsletter subscribers, you can now let me know what you like, contribute your own ideas, and connect with other writers, but only if you want to.
For my Substack readers, the Year of Authoring Beauty remains as a resource archive in 2025 and we now move into a flow of wonder, stories, and offerings.
“All the crafts of subtlety, all the effort, all the loneliness and death, the thin and blazing threads of reason, the spill of blessing, the passion behind these silences — all the invention turns to one end: the fertilizing of the moment, so that there may be more life.” - Muriel Rukeyser
On New Year’s Eve, twenty of us gathered to turn over the soil of 2025 and plant seeds for 2026, knowing full well that what actually germinates is often surprising.
I like numbers. Tracking gives me a tiny dopamine hit, rewarding me for habits that support my well-being. I also discover patterns and blindspots when I comb through the data. Some of my curious stats from 2025:
Facilitated 21 community gatherings. As a classic introvert, the fact that I am most fulfilled by (intentional) community is always surprising, and I think speaks to our innate need to be seen and belong.
Finished 55 books. I am a from-birth-bibliophile, but for nearly a decade I fell asleep every time I cracked a cover (I suspect self-employed single parenting as the culprit). I rely heavily on being read to, but found my way back to actual, delightful reading in 2025 (hallelujah). 10 favorites below!
4 pull-ups. I set out this year to finally do just one simple pull-up, having given up back in elementary school (no joke). Proud to say I can now lift my own body weight, repeatedly (video proof here!).
Active play on 243+ days. That’s 4.7 days per week. It didn’t used to be this way and truly reflects my values. For the nerds: climbing x83, runs x73 (including my first half-marathon distance), hikes x25 (108 miles), yoga x24, golf x22 (pretty active sport if you’re terrible), and ski days x16 (293 runs).
12 trips. This is one I am trying to reduce. In completing my 2024 annual review, I realized after nearly a decade of heavy travel (in 2021, I took 35 flights + 8 road trips 😳), I no longer needed to escape.
3 unplanned behavior shifts that really helped: Began tracking acts of kindness, started bird watching (with Cornell’s app Merlin), and downloaded Finch (the latter two showed up after a life-affirming encounter with a spotted towhee in Death Hollow canyon…2025 was very Bird by Bird).
If I showed you these numbers by month, you’d pick up on the hidden reality that 2025 was one of my harder years.
I set out to rewrite self-sabotaging inner narratives, while in the middle of my biggest one, that of the ambitious overachieving earner of worthiness.
The burnout hit hard and early in late January and I was a shell of a human through May. I may like numbers, but I do not care to look at my streaming stats from that time. Any spare minute was a full collapse into television and food.
There was no way back this time. Now in the light at the end of that dark tunnel, I am so glad. You know, I never cared for burnout.
The pattern felt inevitable, a reality of survival. Now, it feels impossible to care about all that I might prove in a day, or a year for that matter. I’m sure that story will creep in again eventually, but for now I’m grounding in play for the sake of play, beauty for the sake of beauty, and love for the sake of love. Come what may.
Since books were a theme for me this year, 10 favorites for you:
Top fiction: Atmosphere by Taylor Reid Jenkins
…closely followed by: The Midnight Library by Mark Haig
…and: The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
…oh, and: The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Burberry
Top memoir (my fav genre): Trespass: Living at the edge of the promised land by Amy Irvine
…closely followed by: Truth & Beauty: A Friendship by Ann Patchett
Top self-help (fairly allergic to this genre): Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
…perhaps tied with: Quiet by Susan Cain
Will read again, and maybe every year: Earth Keeper by N. Scott Momaday
Read three times this year: Upstream: Selected Essays by Mary Oliver
What were your favorite reads? I need a deep well for 2026.
Welcoming 2026, here is a massive preview of planned gatherings:
01/09-13 Wild Women Retreat: Cabo (sold out)
01/30 Madrona: Wintertide
02/01 Full Snow Moon Women’s Sangha
03/03 Full Wind Strong Moon Women’s Sangha
03/20 Madrona: Evening Dialogue with Bob Walter, Joseph Campbell Foundation
03/21 Madrona: Full-day Workshop with Bob Walter, Joseph Campbell Foundation
04/01 Full Pink Moon Women’s Sangha
05/01 Full Flower Moon Women’s Sangha
05/31 Full Blue Moon Women’s Sangha
06/12-14 Wild Women Retreat: Escalante, Utah
06/25 Madrona: Midsummer Reverie
06/29 Full Strawberry Moon Women’s Sangha
07/25 Wild Day Retreat: Big Cottonwood Canyon, Utah
07/29 Full Buck Moon Women’s Sangha
08/28 Full Sturgeon Moon Women’s Sangha
09/18-20 Madrona: Sojourn (Boulder & Escalante, Utah)
09/26 Full Harvest Moon Women’s Sangha
10/26 Full Hunter’s Moon Women’s Sangha
11/06 Madrona: Evening Dialogue with ecopsychologist Jeanine Canty
11/07 Madrona: Full-day Workshop with ecopsychologist Jeanine Canty
11/24 Full Moon Women’s Sangha: Grief & Gratitude Ritual
12/31 NYE Sankalpa Workshop
Stay tuned to these weekly dispatches for full details as registrations open.
Upcoming:
Women’s Sangha: New Year Full Moon Cacao Ceremony
A heart-opening cacao ceremony will invite us into the new year for our first full moon women’s sangha of 2026. Together, we will meditate, connect, and honor fresh starts.
Sat, Jan 3rd 6:30-8:00 pm South Jordan, UT | $20
No cost for Utah mental health professionals - just RSVP
Madrona: Wintertide Celebration
Honoring the anniversary of Madrona’s first gathering, we invite you to a celebration of soulful community and the power of creative expression!
Fri, Jan 30th 7:00-10:00 pm Cottonwood Heights, UT | By Donation
Live music
Pop-up gallery of local art
Delightful food and earthy drinks
Original poetry from Utah Poet Laureate, Lisa Bickmore
2026 Season Announcement
Gratitude for Contributing Readers
Thank you for supporting this labor of love! All revenue is donated to Madrona, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit community at the confluence of art, soul and nature.
I will be sharing small treasures with you along our journey - personal stories, poems, rituals, and other delights to say thanks.
Interested in becoming a contributing reader? From now through the end of the month, existing subscribers can upgrade at 20% off for the entire year.