I am learning to befriend myself by slowing down and sitting with me. Intentionally asking myself what I enjoy doing. What does Rachel love? What does Rachel love about Rachel? These questions are hard. I find that I want to fit in even when it means ignoring Rachel. My heart aches to leap forward and dance, to say no without apology, to hold the beautiful and not so wonderful parts of me with love and affection. I am what I need
I...i tend to give too much of myself to friendship. Only as much as i wish someone would give to Me. Only as much as i apparently cannot give myself.
I am taken with the line "...why not consider a lasting truce with yourself and God?" from this week's poem. A cease-fire with myself from myself? Certainly from the limitations long tilled into my soul.
I have long ascribed this giving of myself to an other-spirit sending impressions about who needs what when. Regardless of origins (might it be...me?) can I not render myself the same grace and consideration? What does that even look like?
For now, it looks like pausing each morning and really looking at the light reflecting out of the eyes I see in the mirror.
“I salute the light within your eyes where the whole universe dwells. For when you are at that center within you and I am at that place within me, we shall be one.”
I'm befriending myself by using my name, Beth. Please use my name if you leave a comment or just say hi 😊
My name is something I long to hear from others, but I've also never loved it. People find it hard to pronounce or hear. That tricky "th" sound! It's different than all my siblings, something I recognized each time a new sibling was named.
I appreciate this thoughtful invitation, Beth. We all inevitably exile various parts of ourselves that are different or challenging or erroneously called too much, too hard, too loud, or too little. I am contemplating what parts I may also invite into my warm embrace and how that wholeness might alter everything. 🤗
I am learning to befriend myself by slowing down and sitting with me. Intentionally asking myself what I enjoy doing. What does Rachel love? What does Rachel love about Rachel? These questions are hard. I find that I want to fit in even when it means ignoring Rachel. My heart aches to leap forward and dance, to say no without apology, to hold the beautiful and not so wonderful parts of me with love and affection. I am what I need
Aw, this reminds me of a Rupi Kaur poem that I should memorize for such moments when I am tempted to abandon myself:
how you love yourself is
how you teach others
to love you
You are what you need, and the delighted witnessing of you leaping forward and dancing by kindred spirits is also what you need, and what will follow.
I...i tend to give too much of myself to friendship. Only as much as i wish someone would give to Me. Only as much as i apparently cannot give myself.
I am taken with the line "...why not consider a lasting truce with yourself and God?" from this week's poem. A cease-fire with myself from myself? Certainly from the limitations long tilled into my soul.
I have long ascribed this giving of myself to an other-spirit sending impressions about who needs what when. Regardless of origins (might it be...me?) can I not render myself the same grace and consideration? What does that even look like?
For now, it looks like pausing each morning and really looking at the light reflecting out of the eyes I see in the mirror.
A soul that you own!
“I salute the light within your eyes where the whole universe dwells. For when you are at that center within you and I am at that place within me, we shall be one.”
― Crazy Horse
I'm befriending myself by using my name, Beth. Please use my name if you leave a comment or just say hi 😊
My name is something I long to hear from others, but I've also never loved it. People find it hard to pronounce or hear. That tricky "th" sound! It's different than all my siblings, something I recognized each time a new sibling was named.
Maybe I'm ready to love it now.
Beautiful brave friend--
Every Thing you disintur
Heals a waking soul.
=
Love you, Beth.
I appreciate this thoughtful invitation, Beth. We all inevitably exile various parts of ourselves that are different or challenging or erroneously called too much, too hard, too loud, or too little. I am contemplating what parts I may also invite into my warm embrace and how that wholeness might alter everything. 🤗